I Laughed...

Last night I sat on a love seat in my grandmas house in Eugene, Springfield and laughed with an awesome friend of mine. We laughed at growth and life and friendships and high school relationships. I couldn't sleep because I had just finished my last high school cross country race. I have raced the past four years of my high school career, run thousands of miles, developed hundreds of relationships, cried, laughed, and now it is done. Or at least it is finished for this stage of my life, and all I wanted to do was talk to someone. I couldn't sleep until I had someone to help me sort through my emotions or at least listen to some of the thoughts swirling around in my whirlpool heart. I finished something that I had invested a large portion of my life into, which means saying good bye to a lot of kids that I do not spend time with in any other venue. I told her, I feel strange! In two months I will know what colleges I am accepted to, only 4 months after that I will sign to one of them, 7 months from now I will finish high school track, high school ministry, and indeed high school it self, then in about 9 months I will leave Bend. (All of this pending on Gods leadership of coarse) Bend, the place I have been born, raised, and lived out the entireity of my life thus far. The place where I know every short cut, bike route, and running trail. Have 17 years worth of relationships and networks, my family, our home, our buisness, Westside Church, my best friend. LIFE! The reason I laughed is the thought of leaving in 9 months and then I took it further down the road. In 30 years I will meet an awesome woman of God and get married, 50 years and I will have some kids and have to get a real job and stop touring the world with my band. LIFE IS ENDING IN 7 MONTHS! Or at least life as I know it. I can't believe it. Completely new paradigms of thinking have entered my high school head and are tearing at my heart. What are you going to do Jordan? What happens after the races, the performances, the veggie tales parties! How am I going to live, with who, where? WHY? What out of the time that is rapidly being spent actually has worth? Actually is Life? From these past 17 years in Bend I have learned a few vary solid truths, and off of these I have discovered a few things that really matter and really bring fulfillment.

~First, God is. God can. God cares. (thank you Bo)
Basically God is real and I know it because he has carried my family through massive beatings, my sister through what should have been a devastating car wreck, and me through my many struggles. I have gone through three vary intense cycles of depression, in the past three years, ran away from home, and tried to run away from God. No matter what I did or how low I sank God was there and he loved on me. Which brings me the next point. God can, He is able to change mindsets, heal physical disabilities and trauma, lead us out of destructive and addictive behaviors, forgive our sins, and restore, rebuild and cause us to become men and women that are whole. I have been a witness to his healing power! My Older sister Whitney was blindsided by an excursion cruising at 55 miles an hour on the drivers door of her little Subaru. This inflicted amongst other things a concave skull fracture big enough to stick my fist in. It pierced the dura mater(the sack the protects the brain) and we where told, after she came out of surgery that she is not in the clear, that she most likely would have speach and motor issues, and should be in intensive care for around three weeks. a few hours later, I was talking with her, 18 hours later she was in the process of finding a room on the main floor of the hospital. God can. Then, God cares. This is the fact that God loves us! Me, he loves me! He wants to heal me and see me alive and flourishing. Truth: Life is hard, but God is good AND he loves me! This is the premise to real life. (thank you Lynden Evans.) It is easy to believe in God and his power because there is so much evidence of him through miracles and changed lives but it is not so easy to believe that he cares about us, individually. He wants to have relationship with us, use his power on our behalf, and even have us partner with him in that power. But it is true! Jesus endured the cross for the joy that was set before him. That joy was you. Relationship with me. Hence I have deduced that relationship with Jesus and with people is life! Living in his power and love and extending that to everyone around me is the stuff that lasts and fulfills. So I have begun to learn some answers to my questions. It is still so strange for me to think though that I am finishing this stage of my life. Cross country is done! It was a success, I grew in relationship with God and many people! Time to finish the rest.... with Gods love and power constantly at my side. And so begins my walk into my own life. Jesus!